Seems like an oxymoron, right? How can a divorce be peaceful? Don’t parties yell at each other, throw things, and retain expensive attorneys who punish the other party? Well, some people actually go down that road. However, over 60% of the population goes to the local courthouse, picks up the paperwork, and figures things out themselves. Of this group, some appreciate a little help. Others select a mediator like myself to help guide them through the process and smooth out a few of the rough edges. Of those who retain attorneys, things can become fairly heated. After all, the job of the attorney is to fight for your rights. When two people begin fighting for each of their rights, it becomes adversarial quickly. The more you fight, the more the attorneys get of your assets. Why not try a more peaceful approach and send your own kids to college instead of the attorney’s? A divorce with attorneys can often cost $10,000 even without much fighting. With a contested divorce, the price can rise to over $50,000.
Some of you are already headed down a more peaceful road considering a “kitchen table” divorce. You picked up the paperwork from the courthouse. The pile of papers looks daunting. A mediator can help guide you through the process for a very affordable price. The total cost for most non-attorney mediators is usually less than the retainer for one attorney.
You might think, “we can’t agree on anything, I am not sure a mediator can help us.” That is precisely the job of a good mediator. The skills and training of a mediator can often bring two people to agreement when they both thought it quite impossible. Even when parties come to impasse, or they can’t agree, the thought of thousands of dollars in attorney fees and court costs helps them come back to the table.
Creating a peaceful divorce is critical if children are involved of any age. Even adult children can be powerfully affected by the divorce of parents. A mediator works hard to maintain or even improve the relationship between parents through the divorce process. Post divorce training on how to conduct good parent meetings is available to assist parents in staying focused on the children. When parents maintain communication and bitterness is absent, the children win. That is what mediators work for – a win, win settlement. And, although divorce is never a win, a mediator seeks to find a resolution in which both parties can move forward in the best possible finical and emotional health.
Nobody wishes for a divorce. It is one of the most difficult emotional and financial processes anyone can face. However, you do have choices in how to move through the process. I would encourage you to consider a peaceful divorce. Genesis Mediation helps to create a little peace on earth each day, and. one of those areas is creating peaceful divorces.
